lil'bee

Finding friends for yourself

Social   |   Age: 3 months 1 week



Finding friends for yourself

When we moved to a new town that was nearly a thousand miles away from home, I was lonely. And not long after that, I was pregnant. There I was, an emerging mother with no friends - life sucked. That first six months, I didn't think things would ever improve. But once I started pursuing my interests, I met people and those people slowly became friends. Finding new friends as a mother can be tricky. Consider these options if you want to expand your circle.

Find hobbies

Finding hobbies is an awesome way to meet new mom friends. These don't have to be organized hobbies - they can just be things that you frequently do. For example, many of the friends I have came from something as small as frequent visits to the library. You may not be able to do them as often as you would like, due to family responsibilities, but it’s awesome to be able to get away from home and have someone to spend time with.

Virtual communities

As a mother of color, it can be challenging, and scary to find new friends. Many of the individuals I come across, due to my geographic location either don't care or completely discredit my struggles as a marginalized person. By finding virtual friends, I can pre-screen them and see their interest before the emotional investment of friendship. It may seem weird, but my virtual friends have often turned out to be more fulfilling relationships than my IRL ones. Making friends virtually gives you the ability to pick friends based off of your interest and not be limited by proximity.

Your friend's friends

You remember that time your friend had a small gathering with you and some of their other friends? There was that one person who stood out, and you hit it off, but you never said anything because you didn't want to be the creeper stealing your friend's friends? Well, guess what! There are no rules about being friends with your friend's friends. If you are fortunate enough to find someone who possesses the qualities you would like in a friend, take a leap and go after them. The beauty of being friends with your friend's friends is you’ll already have a little crew to do fun things with, and they will already have some things in common with you. Think of it like having reviews before starting a friendship! This one can be hit or miss, but when it goes well, it goes really well.

Motherhood can feel both lonely and overwhelming, but it doesn't have to. Get out there make some pals and have fun. Your life can't revolve around your kids forever.


About the author:
Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez is a writer who specializes in sociology, health, and parenting. Her work has appeared in Healthline, Yes! Magazine, HuffPost, Allure, and many other publications. Follow her on FacebookTwitter or check out her website.


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